Sunday, May 02, 2004
To die with dignity, not for someone else's crusade
To enter the Lesley Martin debate is to enter delicate and emotional territory, and for My Right, very personal territory. For those reasons there has been no posting on this topic to date. However it was question marks raised over the care provided by the Wanganui Hospice that finally convinced me to do so.
Let me start by saying that I have complete sympathy and understanding of Lesley Martin went through. A terminal illness is a tragic thing that can rip a heart and mind apart, and this may explain some of the actions of Lesley Martin, however the following extract disturbs me greatly;
She elected not to have treatment and to be nursed by her daughter, an experienced intensive care nurse, so she could die at home.The parallels to My Right's situation, involving the same Hospice, are many. When it became clear that Dad's cancer was in the final stages of robbing us all of him, and his situation got to the point where he was clearly distressed and it was so painful that he no longer wanted to fight, My Right's family was called together. That to me is one key difference - there was no autonomous decision making over the life of a dearly loved family member. My family made the hardest decision imaginable, together, supporting each other. Having two nurses in the family, we too were allowed to take dad home, knowing what that would mean.
In her book, To Die Like a Dog, Lesley Martin described how her mother asked her: "Don't let me lie there, not alive and not dead ... Please help me ... Be quick."
In the book, written as a screenplay, Martin quotes herself as saying: "I'll know ... I'll know when it's time ... I won't leave you like that ... I promise."
Hospice nurse Wiki Alward told the jury that Martin told her she gave her mother 60mg of morphine on the night of May 26-27, 1999.
Mrs Alward said Martin told her the morphine was not because her mother had increased pain but because "my mum had indicated she didn't want a slow painful death, and I did not want that either".
The Crown alleged Martin had refused help to care for her mother, as she wanted to be alone to administer the morphine.
The defence said Martin was stressed, under "intolerable pressure" and exhausted because of a lack of back-up, and that her book could not be relied on for evidence.
That is where the Hospice comes in. They were simply incredible in their support, completely available in the middle of the night, and totally understanding and ready to increase the morphine levels when Dad became more uncomfortable. During the worst time of my life, the Hospice service made Dad's death as comfortable, and dignified, as it could have been.
The implication that the Hospice were unresponsive and left Lesley Martin isolated must break the staff's hearts. I do not pretend to know all the specifics of the Martin situation - but can see clear similarities with the one I recently faced. The Hospice made it possible for us to take Dad home, and allow him to pass on in his own bed in peace. My family and I can only imagine Dad in particular, are all so grateful to the Hospice. It is hard to believe that they would be remiss and unresponsive given our experience.
There are ways of doing things properly, within the law and involving all the people that should be involved when making such a decision - and that is where I take issue with the actions and subsequent statements of Lesley Martin.
